The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
#suchar
Marshalist

A mummy was found in Egypt, and to determine its age and whatnot, three best forensic teams of the world decided to start a competition.


The CIA went first.They studied the mummy for a year, and then came up with a result: the person lived around 1000 years BC, plus or minus 200 years.


The Mossad goes next.They study the mummy for a month, and conclude: it was a pharaoh who ruled 1000 years BC, give or take 100 years.


The KGB team goes next.They hold the mummy for a week, and then come up with this: it was Pharaoh Ramenhotep the Second, born 1022 BC, became king after murdering his uncle, ruled for five years, on the third year of his reign the Nile flooded Luxor, on the fourth year the hittites attacked.


Everyone is perplexed: "How did you find all this out?”


'He confessed”

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